What With the Carbo-Loading, It’s a Small Wonder They’re All Marathoners

While we’re on the subject of food (Jo, are you ever not on the subject of food?!), I wanted to give you an idea of what the meals are like here. Meals are structured very differently here than they are back home. At home, the focus of the meal is usually some kind of protein (unless, of course, we're having Mom’s homemade Mac & Cheese), with lots of vegetables (at least in theory) and some kind of starchy carbohydrate. Here, the carbs get all the glory. From what I understand, when you order a meal in a restaurant, you order the carb first, then say what kind of protein you'll have with it, e.g.: Ugali with Beef, Rice with Chicken, etc. I haven't really eaten in restaurants (I did eat at Carnivore in 2010, but it really doesn't help my case here), so my experiences have generally been at the various Apostles of Jesus Missions I have been staying at. I have never seen fewer than two carb-y dishes offered at a meal, but I am no longer surprised to see 4 or 5. Here’s an example of a meal I had in Uganda:

• Matooke (mashed bananas, but not sweet, and not exactly plantains. Think potatoes that grow on banana trees)
• Ugali (a thick, stiff cornmeal porridge, about the consistency of play-dough)
• Chips (French fries, but they like to credit the British instead)
• Ugandan sweet potatoes (distinctly different from American sweet potatoes)
• Rice (the universal food)
• Beans (the other universal food)
• Boiled pumpkin leaves (not unlike kale (which, for the record, is not chicken))

Of the first 5 dishes, there were huge pots, and everyone took large helpings of each. The beans were in a medium pot, and the pumpkin leaves seemed like they were added as an after thought, and people took the least amount of those. And this is not the most carb-heavy meal I have eaten. Sometimes, they might have chips and roasted potatoes (though they call them “Irish potatoes”, so as not to confuse them with sweet potatoes). Spaghetti is an occasional offering, but never with any sauce. Interestingly, bread isn’t really a thing. There’s usually bread on the breakfast table, but it’s store bought. If there’s going to be anything bread-like at dinner, it will be chapatti, flat bread transplanted from India (there is a huge Indian population in Kampala).

The protein generally depends on the region. When I was traveling around Lake Victoria, almost every meal was Tilapia (no complaints from this girl!). The fish was never fileted. Sometimes it was cut into pieces, but occasionally, I just got a whole fish plopped on my plate. I rose to the challenge and ate the entire thing from head to tail, including the eyes. I think I can say now, without fear of jinxing it, that I have officially made it the entire way around Lake Victoria without choking on a fishbone, though I did occasionally mutter prayers to St. Blaise as I ate.

Here in Kenya, we usually have beef or pork, chopped up into small pieces and either boiled or roasted, or chicken (you already know how I feel on chicken night). I’ve had goat occasionally, but that is one of the most expensive kinds of meat. I know that rabbit makes it to the table from time to time, but not since I’ve been here. Beans, blessed beans, are almost always an option.

However, even with all of this carbo-loading, it didn’t really make me want to run marathons. Mostly, I just wanted to take long naps.